Post your favorite quotes, lyrics, phrases, sayings, ect.........

[COLOR=#39383e][I][FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif][SIZE=2][B][U]Author unknown:[/U] [COLOR=blue]"You have got your head so far up your a$$ you can chew your food again on the way down."[/COLOR][/B][/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/COLOR]

[QUOTE=redlinesrule;374581][LEFT][COLOR=#000000][SIZE=5][FONT=Arial][U][SIZE=4][COLOR=blue][B]DON'T SWAT A FLY[/B][/COLOR][/SIZE][/U][/FONT][/SIZE]
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[COLOR=#000000][SIZE=5][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][B][U]Written by Tom Hoy[/U]
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[/FONT][/SIZE][/COLOR][FONT=Arial][B][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][COLOR=#000000] [/COLOR][/B][/FONT]
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[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]I was just a kid when my daddy said to me[/B]
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[/FONT][/COLOR][LEFT][COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Son there's much to learn in this life.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And so there beneath a tree, he sat me on his knee[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]He said there's dangers in this world[/B]
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[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]So follow my advice.[/B]
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[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Don't swat a fly that's landed on a pitbull[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Don't play with your new chainsaw in the tub[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Don't give a dozen roses to your girlfriend[/B]
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[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Especially if your wife just bought a gun.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't ever date your father's cousin's sister[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]In case she is your uncle's brother's wife.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't leave your Grandpa all alone at Hooter's[/B]
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[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Unless you got insurance on his life.[/B]
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[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't ever give Viagara to a Rooster.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]He'll cock-a-doodle-doo till he explodes.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't ask your in-laws over for a dinner[/B]
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[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Unless you're sure they'll all fit in the stove..[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't take your kids to visit dear old Grandma[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Unless they don't mind digging all night long.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't swat a fly that's landed on a pitbull[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Unless you aren't too drunk enough to run.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't ever put pure jet fuel in your tractor[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Cause now your cousin Junior's on the moon.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]They say he left a trail of anti-matter[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]and NASA said he won't be back real soon.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't take advice unless it's from your daddy[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Even if your mother says you ain't my son.[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]And don't swat a fly that's landed on a pitbull[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[COLOR=#000000][FONT=Arial][B]Unless you aren't too drunk enough to run[/B]
[/FONT][/COLOR]
[FONT=Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif][COLOR=#000000][B][FONT=Arial]Unless you aren't too drunk enough to run.[/FONT][/B]
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Sounds like a Ray Stevens song!

[B][U][COLOR=blue]John Adams -[/COLOR][/U][/B] [B]“Facts are stubborn things; and whatever may be our wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions, they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence.”[/B]

[QUOTE=classicfan1;374941]Sounds like a Ray Stevens song![/QUOTE]

It sure does & you just can't beat an original Stevens song with none better than 'The Streak'. :laugh:

While watching a football game my wife said:"I am old enough to be all of these guy's mother... Except for Brett Farve"

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

"I live my life one regret at a time"
Tim Lykins

Tim

If you tell the truth the first time your story never changes.

[B][U][COLOR=blue]Unknown comic:[/COLOR][/U][/B] [B][I]"That's enough to gag a maggot!"[/I][/B]

[B][U][COLOR=blue][I]Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven"[/I] :[/COLOR][/U][/B]

[B][I]And as we wind on down the road
our shadows taller than our soul
there walks a lady we all know
who shines white light and wants to show
how everything still turns to gold
and if you listen very hard
the tune will come to you at last
when all are one and one is all
to be a rock and not to roll.
[/I][/B]