What is the lamest, worst bad joke you know

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08-06-2009, 12:41 AM
Jaybird

What is the lamest, worst bad joke you know

OK, without going to the MANY online sources, what is the worst, lamest joke you know. Here's mine, please forgive me: "I walked to work yesterday, and it was raining cats and dogs.... *pause* I know, because I stepped in a poodle!" I'm here all week... tip your waiters!
08-06-2009, 02:31 AM
99octane

A piece of string goes into a bar... the bartender shouts angrily: "Hey! We don't serve your kind here. Get out!" Dejected, sitting on the curb outside, the piece of string got an idea. He messed his ends up real good and tied himself into a tangled snarl. He went back into the bar... the bartender shouts: "Hey, ain't you that piece of string I just threw out of here?!?" and the reply...? (Scroll down). . . . . . . . . . . (get ready to groan) . . . . . . "Nope! I'm a frayed knot"! (Nope, I'm afraid not!)
08-06-2009, 03:29 AM
usastreetrodder

<img src="http://forums.gottadeal.com/images/smilies/sidesplit.gif" width="30" height="18" alt="image"><img src="http://forums.gottadeal.com/images/smilies/sidesplit.gif" width="30" height="18" alt="image"><img src="http://forums.gottadeal.com/images/smilies/sidesplit.gif" width="30" height="18" alt="image"><img src="http://forums.gottadeal.com/images/smilies/sidesplit.gif" width="30" height="18" alt="image"><img src="http://forums.gottadeal.com/images/smilies/sidesplit.gif" width="30" height="18" alt="image"><img src="http://forums.gottadeal.com/images/smilies/sidesplit.gif" width="30" height="18" alt="image"><img src="http://forums.gottadeal.com/images/smilies/sidesplit.gif" width="30" height="18" alt="image"><img src="http://forums.gottadeal.com/images/smilies/sidesplit.gif" width="30" height="18" alt="image">
08-06-2009, 05:32 AM
cockycpa

2 babies are born on the same day in the same hospital. 80 years later, they are both on their deathbeds in that same hospital. One turns to the other and says"Well, how was it?"
08-06-2009, 07:37 AM
rhuprect

These two guys walk into a bar... You'd think the second one would have seen it. ----------- perhaps tied with ---------------------- What's the last thing that goes through a bugs mind when it hits your windshield? His butt
08-06-2009, 11:43 AM
loaf7

guy walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt strapped to his back. Says to the bartender, I'll have a drink and one for the road.
08-06-2009, 01:29 PM
Playz with Carz

A hamburger walks into a bar and asks for a drink .... The bartender says "we don't serve food". Mark.
08-06-2009, 04:04 PM
groggerbug

Hey, somebody alredy got the one that came to my mind but I had it this way: So didja hear about the two ___________'s that ran into a bar? You'd a thought after the first one ran into it, the second one would've seen it andducked...
08-06-2009, 04:07 PM
groggerbug

Here's a really lame little rhyme I've known since I was a kid: I often pause and wonder, At fate's peculiar ways, For nearly all our famous men, Were born on holidays.
08-06-2009, 07:41 PM
jelsel

This one is'nt lame...It's my favorite.....A man and a dog go into a talent agents office and the man tells the talent agent that his dog can talk. Theagent says "ok,let's hear him talk" The man looks at the dog and says "Dog,what's on top of a house?" The dog says"RUFF". The man says "See,the dog says a roof is on top of a house" The agent says "I'm not covinced,let's hear himagain" The man looks at the dog again and says "Dog,who is the greatest baseball player that ever lived?" The dog says "RUFF". The mansays "See,the dog says Babe Ruth is the greatest baseball player that ever lived". The talent agent says "That's no talking dog! Get theheck outtta here". A little while later,the man and the dog are sitting outside on the curb and the dog looks up at the man and says " Do you think Ishould have said DeMagio?"
08-06-2009, 09:48 PM
Beach bomb

This guy walks into the doctors office with a frog on his head. The doctor says what's your problem? The frog says I've got this lump on my butt. Tim
08-06-2009, 10:11 PM
blkv3tt3

 Why is a woman's mind cleaner than a man's?....................................................she changes it moreoften.........................
08-07-2009, 01:56 AM
Jaybird

OK, A polar bear walks into a bar, he steps up to the bar and says I'll have aBud--------------------------------------------------------------------------------wieser. Bartender says, "what's with the big pause?" Polar bear holds up his hands and says " I dunno! I was just born with them!" C'mon, I know you folks have crappier jokes than THAT!
08-07-2009, 09:59 AM
hotbirdsplanes

A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says: "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says: "Why not? I'm a fungi!" A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Why the long face?" A giraffe walks into a bar and says: "The highballs are on me." A priest, a rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The bartender says: "Is this some kind of a joke?" Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other: "Boy, it sure is hot in here." The other says: "HOLY ****! A TALKING MUFFIN!" No, I didn't find these on the internet. For some reason, I've always remembered jokes. I literally know thousands and can rattle them off nonstop.Thirty years ago, I actually won a contest. Not for stand-up comedy, mind you. Just for knowing so many jokes. Knock-knock jokes, no-arms-and-no-legs jokes,ethnic jokes, sick jokes, children's jokes, dirty jokes, you name it it. Most are long, and ninety percent of them couldn't be posted here anyway. These are some of the dumber ones (that are not specifically kid jokes) that can be posted. But probably also familiar like the rest on here. Polar bear jokewas new to me, though. And I like it, Jay! Haw!
08-08-2009, 12:57 AM
The DSN

OK...Let's see.... " What do you call a Pirate with both legs, both arms, and both eyes? "...............(A rookie) A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel in his pants. The bartender says, " You know you have a ship's wheel in your pants." Pirate answers, " Arghhhh...and it be drivin' me N**z!"